ENTERTAINMENT

We Need To Talk About The Kissing Booth 3

A lot to unpack.
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The Kissing Booth 3 has finally hit Netflix and we have… thoughts. So many thoughts. Seriously, there is A LOT to unpack. We hope you have snacks.

Warning… spoilers ahead

WATCH: Jacob Elordi stars in The Kissing Booth 3

As a reminder of what happened at the end of the last film. Elle (played by Joey King) got accepted into both Harvard and Berkeley. Her best friend Lee (played by Joel Courtney) is headed for Berkeley while her boyfriend Noah (played by Jacob Elordi), Lee’s brother, attends Harvard.

She lied to both of them that she got wait-listed for the colleges and is now facing A LOT of inner turmoil as she decides which one to pick. Elle, between us, no man is worth this much stress.

Also, between dealing with these immature men, when did Elle even have time to study to get into Harvard? What degree is she planning on doing? Literally no clue; but hey, at least we know that she makes a mean kissing booth.

Anyway, the film starts with a montage of Noah & Elle and Lee & Rachel (Lee’s girlfriend) travelling through Northern California. *Cries in Australian lockdown*. In fact, there are four montages within the first twenty minutes and, we’ve got to admit, this movie looks pretty fun to film.

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Oh boy, not another list. (Credit: Netflix)

Noah and Lee’s parents then announce they’re selling their beach house and the teens do not take it well. Ahh, rich people problems. While they’re packing, Elle and Lee find their “Beach Bucket List” from years’ past and just how many more lists have they got hiding away? Will there be a Kissing Booth 78: Elle and Lee’s Non-Negotiable Nursing Home Rules?

The four teens also convince Noah and Lee’s parents to let them stay at the beach house to “clean and check on the work being done” (definitely not throw plenty of parties). The parents cave shockingly easily.

Elle then FINALLY decides she’s going to go to Harvard with Noah. And Lee, surprise surprise, does not take it well. They both start crying and it’s all very dramatic. To make up for it, Elle vows to complete their beach bucket list before they both go to college.

And what better way to start completing the checklist than by… you guessed it… another montage.

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Rachel is the real MVP of this movie, we will take no arguments. (Credit: Netflix)

But, of course, this movie can’t be all: giving Noah wedgies and covering him in whipped cream. Seriously, what was the script writer’s beef with Jacob Elordi? And so, enter the complication… AKA the dance dude from The Kissing Booth 2.

For the life of us, we can’t remember his name, so we’re just going to call him: “Different Font Noah” for now – because, as many fans have pointed out, he looks shockingly similar to Jacob Elordi… just in a different “font”.

While working at her summer job at a restaurant, Elle bumps into Different Font Noah and clearly she can’t remember his name either as she hasn’t used it once?? Anyway, Different Font Noah reveals he’s working as a lifeguard at the water park and, oh boy, here we go.

Noah then invites his Harvard friend Chloe (remember her?) to stay with them while she’s in town and Elle takes it pretty well. The same can’t be said for Noah’s reaction to Elle’s news two seconds later.

“I ran into Marco…” (Marco! That’s his name)… “and his family eating at the restaurant and he actually has a job at the water park so he’s going to help us with this cool bucket list thingy,” Elle tells Noah.

In news that will shock absolutely no one, Noah takes it badly. He storms off. Yikes.

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Not even Jacob Elordi is worth this amount of stress. (Credit: Netflix)

So things aren’t looking good for Noah and Elle. Particularly when Noah refuses to wear a Wario costume while they go go-karting and Marco swoops in and wears it. Yikes again.

From here, we have a lot of Elle & Marco scenes coupled with a lot of Noah & Chloe scenes and just rip the Band-Aid off and break up already guys! Wait, never mind, they’re fine again. False alarm.

But now we have another issue. Lee feels neglected by Elle… they’re supposed to be completing the beach bucket list, remember?!! So, Elle drops everything to be with Lee. Wait stop, now Noah feels neglected. Elle goes to him. Again, girl, we can’t stress enough… no man is worth this much effort.

Particularly considering the subplot of Elle’s father dating a new woman, Linda. Elle is clearly not coping thinking that her mum is about to be replaced. But God forbid her personal family dramas get in the way of building sandcastles with Lee.

Anyway, Chloe is crying to Noah, telling him to fight for Elle. And Elle is crying to Marco and he’s asking to meet up with her later. The difference between men and women, we’re telling you.

All is forgiven when Noah rocks up with a rose, Bachelor style, and Cyndi Lauper’s Time After Time starts playing on the Jukebox. Cute… let’s see how long it lasts.

WATCH: Joey King & Jacob Elordi American vs. Australian Word Battle (Article continues after video)

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Not long, it turns out. Because Noah finds Elle’s acceptance letter to Berkeley and realises she was never wait-listed. From here, things go spectacularly downhill.

Marco rocks up to Elle’s party and ends up punching Noah. Noah tells Elle she shouldn’t have let him back into their lives and rides off on a motorcycle. Marco decides that this was the right time to confess his feelings for Elle and, bud, read the room?

Elle finds Noah at the Hollywood sign where they once had sex, casually. Also, let’s not forget these two dated IRL, imagine having to pretend to be in love with your ex. Anyway, Noah says he doesn’t want to stop her from going to Berkeley with Lee. Then he dumps her. Oop, guess they didn’t have to pretend for much longer.

Elle goes to find Lee who, surprise surprise, is pissed because she missed their final dance on that dance machine in the arcade. Before Elle can explain that she’d literally just been dumped by the Hollwood sign (which, to be honest, we think trumps playing a Step Up knockoff), Lee says he doesn’t matter to her.

Elle is stunned and YES!! FINALLY!! SHE IS STANDING UP FOR HERSELF.

“You have never had to worry about anything. You’ve had everything handed to you your whole life and now you accuse me of not caring about you? You know, everything I’ve done this summer, for you, and for everybody, just probably proves that I care too much,” Elle tells Lee. Period Queen, you tell him.

Mr. bad timing Marco then strikes again, sending Elle a voice recording saying he was letting her go and OK? Thanks bestie, no one asked?

Chloe gets ready to leave the beach house, telling Elle she’s a “brilliant woman”. And, what we will say is, we love the female friendships in this movie. Between Chloe not getting in the way of Noah and Elle (take notes, Marco) and Rachel being so secure with Lee and Elle’s close friendship, the women in this franchise are the real MVPs.

Speaking of brilliant women, Noah’s mum (Mrs. Flynn) then sits down with Elle and asks her what SHE is passionate about studying at college. FINALLY. Trust Molly Ringwald to bring some much-needed perspective.

There’s another party. Marco shows up and tells Elle he’s leaving to go to New York because she was the only thing keeping him in LA. And what? Dude, were y’all even that tight? You did one dance competition together. We’ve had longer relationships with a carton of oat milk.

Elle finally tells Lee she got accepted to Berkeley, not just wait-listed, but she needs to figure out what she wants to do. Turns out, it’s video game design at USC.

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The franchise has come to an end. (Credit: Netflix)

Things get incredibly dramatic as they say their final goodbyes, both to the beach house and each other, before they head off to college. Elle calls upon her ex Noah to help her and Lee recreate an old photo of the three of them in front of the house to send to Mrs. Flynn.

And apparently that was enough to convince her not to sell the place? Yep, she backs out from signing the paperwork at the last minute. Molly Ringwald, c’mon, the sentiment is nice but we’re sure millions of dollars is much nicer??

Annnnnd we have a ‘Six Years Later’ time jump. We should have seen this coming.

Elle, Lee and Rachel are back in town and they see a kissing booth. Oh yeah, we forgot. Elle bumps into Noah and the two flirt and then ride off on motorcycles yet again.

It’s kind of up in the air about whether they get back together. But, considering there’s no Kissing Booth 4, you’ll just have to use your imagination guys.  

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