*WARNING: This post contains spoilers for season 2*
In the last episode of 13 Reasons Why season two, Hannah finally gets her funeral.
Her loved ones, which obviously includes Clay, gathered around to share their memories of her, later heading to Monet’s.
During the scene, Hannah’s mum approaches Clay, telling him she will be leaving for New York, to pursue Hannah’s dreams.
In doing so, she hands Clay a piece of paper she says she found on an old computer. It was a list of reasons Hannah made, called “Reasons Why Not”. Unfortunately, there were only 11.
“Eleven reasons, she came up just short. She left so many out. You know that, don’t you? No matter how many reasons there might be why, there are always more why not,” she tells Clay.
Below are the reasons, and they’re both heartbreaking and adorable.
Mom and Dad: They will blame themselves, and it’s not their fault.
New York: I could get there someday. If not college, then after college. And maybe I could start over there.
Clay: He will also think it’s his fault, and it isn’t. He’ll think he could have saved me. But we can’t save people, not that way at least — it’s more complicated than that.
Writing: I might — might — write something great one day. Get it published. Even be a writer. Seems unlikely — but possible.
Dad: Loves me without question. Always wants what’s best for me. Even though I’m mad at him, it would be unfair to him to leave.
Mom: I don’t know if she could live through it. She is always so on edge already. But maybe that’s already my fault. I know she loves me — I wish she knew that I knew.
Mom and Dad: Worked so hard to give me a better life. Would be letting them down.
Helmet: Is a genuinely good guy. And I genuinely like him. And maybe we’re supposed to be together. Don’t know. But maybe. If I go, we’ll never find out.
Maybe: Someday I could make a difference in someone else’s life.
Maybe: I’ll have a kid of my own one day, and maybe she could be that someone else.
Maybe: It’s not as bad as I think it is. Maybe it will get better.
If you, or someone you know needs help, speak confidentially to a trained counsellor 24 hours a day:
Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.
Lifeline on 13 11 14
13reasonswhy.info
Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636
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