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Abbie Chatfield wrote a powerful essay to all those who slut-shamed her

"This is something I did not expect in 2019." - by Milly Haddrick
  • 24 Sep 2019

Abbie Chatfield is DONE with people's sh*t. 

Taking to Instagram this evening, The Bachelor runner-up has posted a powerful message to all those who slut-shamed her for expressing herself sexually - as any grown woman in a relationship should feel encouraged to do, and not judged for. 

The self-titled feminist and reality TV star posted a long and important message to all those people who deemed it ok to attack her online because she kissed her boyfriend, and it is a seriously important read. 

WATCH: Abbie Chatfield opens up about 'rough morning' following The Bachelor finale

"Things I got slut shamed for on #thebachelorau: this bikini, my skort at hometowns, multiple cocktail party gowns, kissing matt 'without a date' and at a cocktail party (out of sight of anyone), pashing Matt in various locations with varying degrees of intensity, honestly admitting that I wanted to have sex with a man I was dating for 10 weeks and all around just "using sexuality to manipulate Matt"", Abbie began.

abbiechatfield View Profile
8,826 likes - View Post on Instagram
Things I got slut shamed for on #thebachelorau: this bikini, my skort at hometowns, multiple cocktail party gowns, kissing matt 'without a date' and at a cocktail party (out of sight of anyone), pashing Matt in various locations with varying degrees of intensity, honestly admitting that I wanted to have sex with a man I was dating for 10 weeks and all around just "using sexuality to manipulate Matt". This is something I did not expect in 2019. Sex is essential to a successful relationship for me, as is sexual chemistry and the ability to express that comfortably with my partner. I saw commentary around my sexuality (rightly) calling out slut shaming and double standards regarding my pash sessions with Matt, with responses of "I'm not slut shaming her she is just manipulative/dumb/aggressive/only wanting sex". To insinuate that any relationship is less valid because of a strong physical connection is counterintuitive - the defining factor between a platonic and romantic relationship is physcial expressions of affection. I saw many comments about me having "nothing between my ears" or that I was "so insecure she can't talk to him so they just kiss". The public see ten minutes of a twelve hour date, it is insulting to both myself and Matt to assume he took me right until the end purely for a snog. I'd like those who think that I was manipulative to TRULY examine why you believe that. On most occasions, it comes down to a core belief that a woman who is "seducing" a man has ultrior motives, while a man doing the same is merely being romantic. If it isn't that, it is based off the opinion voiced of other contestants on the show, not my actions. I was always honest, authentic and expressive which can sometimes rub people the wrong way. It's okay to not like me - it is not okay to assume that I am less of a person or less worthy of love because I like to have sex and can talk freely and openly about it. Also MY LOVE LANGUAGES ARE PHYSICAL TOUCH AND QUALITY TIME LEAVE ME ALONE PLS

Abbie continued: "This is something I did not expect in 2019. Sex is essential to a successful relationship for me, as is sexual chemistry and the ability to express that comfortably with my partner. I saw commentary around my sexuality (rightly) calling out slut shaming and double standards regarding my pash sessions with Matt, with responses of "I'm not slut shaming her she is just manipulative/dumb/aggressive/only wanting sex". 

abbiechatfield View Profile
5,087 likes - View Post on Instagram
I don't think you know fear until you're telling a man you love him knowing he cannot say it back, in front of 2 cameras and a whole TV production crew #thebachelorau

"To insinuate that any relationship is less valid because of a strong physical connection is counterintuitive - the defining factor between a platonic and romantic relationship is physcial expressions of affection. I saw many comments about me having "nothing between my ears" or that I was "so insecure she can't talk to him so they just kiss". The public see ten minutes of a twelve hour date, it is insulting to both myself and Matt to assume he took me right until the end purely for a snog."

Abbie finished off by perfectly surmising why certain people feel uncomfortable with a woman expressing her sexuality (as opposed to a man), and it's because for too long women who have been deemed 'too sexy' are viewed as a 'threat'. Because for someone to be sexy often means they are confident, and society can't always handle confident women. 

Clearly. 

abbiechatfield View Profile
3,330 likes - View Post on Instagram
Do you guys reckon my love language is physical touch or nah? #thebachelorau

"I'd like those who think that I was manipulative to TRULY examine why you believe that. On most occasions, it comes down to a core belief that a woman who is "seducing" a man has ultrior motives, while a man doing the same is merely being romantic.

"If it isn't that, it is based off the opinion voiced of other contestants on the show, not my actions. I was always honest, authentic and expressive which can sometimes rub people the wrong way. It's okay to not like me - it is not okay to assume that I am less of a person or less worthy of love because I like to have sex and can talk freely and openly about it," Abbie finished.

A bunch of former and current Bachelor stars took to the comment section to show their support, with last season's 'villain' Alisha writing: "In conclusion, we stan harder than ever before." 

While Newcastle cutie Elly Miles wrote: "I love that you’ve finally been able to defend yourself Abs 💖👏🏻"

the bachelor

Yeah the chicks.

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Meanwhile, Megan from The Bachelorette and Jessica from Matt Agnew's Bachelor season also showed Abbie the love and support she deserves.

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We stan. 

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Milly Haddrick
Milly Haddrick
Milly is the Digital Content Editor for Entertainment. A devout tea and chocolate enthusiast, Milly is a lover of all things pop culture (with a little dash of politics).

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