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EMERGENCY: Your First Date Is FAILING So What Do You Do?!

All those awks emergencies sorted with #FirstDateFirstAid.
Dates can be fun (movies! Popcorn! Holding hands!) yet first-time hangs have the potential to rate pretty freakin’ high on the cringe-o-meter. Rambling stories, self-conscious stares and internal face palms (‘Why did I do that?’) are all standard horrors, and even the best of dates have an awks silence (or 70)…
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But here’s the thing – if you want to meet your Harry Styles, rack up a hilarious group chat thread (‘tell us EVERYTHING!’) or suss whether the guy you THINK is #relationshipgoals really is all that, eventually you’ll have to go on a date (or two, or three, or four). Fingers crossed the following hacks help out next time your disaster date is in need of a metaphorical bandage..

We know it’s pretty obvious, but never, EVER go on a date that you’re not vibing. Always tell someone where and when you’re going, and if you feel worried or unsafe at any point leave immediately.

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THE EMERGENCY: HE TALKS A LOT

Thirty minutes into your first date you already know where he went to preschool, what he’s watching on Netflix and the ins and outs of hit footy schedule.

RN, he’s on about his sci-fi movie obsession and you’re smiling, nodding and kind of mad – he hasn’t asked you ONE single question. The absence of awkward silence is awesome, but you feel like you’re asking question after question (job interview style), and he’s not interested in finding out anything about you at all.

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THE CURE: 

Tell him! Try something jokey like, ‘This feels like a job interview! Is there anything you want to ask ME?’ He might not have realised how he was acting and be really apologetic OR he might keep talking about himself, in which case you might want to re-think the possibility of a second date.

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THE EMERGENCY: YOU’RE NOT REALLY VIBING IT

Every date isn’t going to end in a sweet Insta-post/kiss/Zigi-esque scenario. In fact, it’s normal to like the person you’re hanging with but not feel a connection.

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Unfortunately if the date’s only just begun, this realisation can cause serious panic. Common thought-patterns look a little like: Help! Why? Nooo!

THE CURE:

If he’s a genuinely good person, try and wait out the rest of your coffee/movie/sushi date, say your goodbyes and you’re out. If you REALLY can’t bear it? You’ve got two options; the truth or lie.

If you’re going for the truth, something like, ‘I’m not sure if we click but so nice to meet you!’ as you stand up to go should break it gently.

The lie option involves looking at your phone and saying something like, ‘[Insert crisis] has come up, I’m sorry!’

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The prob here is that he might text you later… and then you’ve got the same sitch all over again.

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THE EMERGENCY: YOU BUMP INTO YOUR EX-BF/GF/CRUSH

When you’re out with someone new, the last thing you want is to be thinking about the person you used to date/imagined dating. 

But the thing with life is the chance of seeing an ex while on a date is up there with bumping into the cutest guy in the world while in tracksuit pants at the supermarket on a Saturday night (read: typical).

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THE CURE:

Out of respect for the person you’re with RN, try not to make it look like a bug deal (even if it IS). Say hi, feel the awks, and then move on. Bitching about him is going to make your date feel uncomfortable too!

If he asks who he is just say, ‘long story’ and try laugh it off.

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THE WORST…

These anonymous GF staffers swear they’ve had first dates more awks than yours:

“The guy had a bleeding nose and had to go home!”

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“Everything was going well until the goodbye. He awkwardly went in for a hug… twice. Oh, and he kind of hit my bag.”

“When he called my house, my dad answered and he got scared. I never even ended up on the date…”

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