LIFE AND ADVICE

Everything you can do other than stare at your phone when you are getting ghosted

Prove you don't care but just not caring!
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Your finger is hovering over his name as your tummy churns in anticipation of your fate.

WATCH: Who will win the Relationship Quiz?!? Shay Mitchell.

You breathe in and then breathe out some light disassociation as you get ready to find out if he has opened your message.

Your heart jolts as your worst fears are realised. He has left you on seen.

What makes matters worse is you can see he is still active.

You start to fight off intrusive thoughts and try to pretend he just got distracted and will get back to you soon.

A few hours pass, and he has been active on and off, but your message is sitting there, the piece of data has trapped you.

You try to forget about it, so you spend the next 24 hours checking the message like it’s your job, you may post a thirst trap to your story to get his attention, but instead, it drags in everyone but him.

The whole ordeal may have you feeling a little embarrassed that you were rejected and even more so for your obsessive reaction.

But know that your feelings are valid.

Professor Kipling D. Williams, who lectures at Purdue University, told the publication Parade that you actually feel physical pain when you are ghosted.

“Any form of ostracism registers in the brain as pain, the very same way a burn or a cut might register,” said Williams.

To help you through, here are some things you can do other than obsessively stare at your phone.

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This album Rumours is meant to be their most dramatic. (Credit: Instagram)

Learn how a second language 

As a language, German is overlooked, but it’s actually the perfect language to use when you want to feel a little commanding and robust.

It’s also the antithesis of French, AKA the language of love (ew!).

Or if you really want to feel like an aristocratic femme fatale who cannot be messed with, we suggest learning Russian because it sounds like knives rolling off your tongue.

Realistically, learning a second language means you will have a whole new skill set that we can assure you is far more satisfying than any boy.

Listen to the whole Fleetwood Mac catalogue 

Fleetwood Mac is famously one of Harry Style’s favourite bands, so you can use your extensive knowledge to woo him.

The band famously had a rough time with tumultuous inter-band relationships that ended in divorce, scandal and adultery.

Their dramas will help you feel solace that at least your dating life isn’t quite as jarring.

For real though, according to Harvard Health a 2011 analysis found that “music therapy enhances people’s physical, psychological, cognitive, and emotional functioning during physical rehabilitation programs.”

So, whether you decide to give Fleetwood Mac, a listen or your albums of choice, their lyrics and production will help you heal.

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“Why men great till they gotta be great?” (Credit: Instagram)

Start a podcast 

Who knows, maybe a podcast will launch you into internet fame, and whoever left you ghosted will feel the bitter tinge of regret.

No, we do not condone revenge but creating content that makes you feel happy is always the best way to build your self-esteem back up.

But make sure your podcast is about anything other than getting ghosted. 

While it is fantastic to vent, it will not take your mind off things.

But a podcast about the history of Vegemite or how Rihanna went from a noughties pop star to a bonafide fashion icon will keep you more than preoccupied, and who knows, it may change your life.

Create Lizzo artwork

To remind yourself that you are “THAT BI**H.”

Lizzo knows her self worth, and she has been spreading her gospel with us, and we are so lucky to have her lyrics to guide us through boy drama.

By painting a picture of the star, framing it and blue tacking it to your wall, you will not go a single day without remembering that you’re a queen who doesn’t need “no crown.”

Lizzo put it best when she said: “If he don’t love you anymore just walk your fine ass out the door.”

Off you go! Forget that ghost. He isn’t worth your time. Never was.

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Bella Hadid during an impromptu photoshoot with her best friend. (Credit: Instagram)

Drink turmeric tea 

There is no medicine to heal a brokenheart, and even if there were, it would be so in demand you’d struggle to get your hands on it.

So, turmeric tea will just have to do.

The drink is beneficial for your health, and its anti-inflammatory properties will melt your swollen heart back to a calm state.

According to Healthline, the compound called curcumin found in turmeric “has been linked to treating anxiety and depression.”

The benefits are more useful than coffee which will make you feel more anxious, so please swap it for turmeric and enjoy.

Get your girls together and have a photoshoot 

This is not an opportunity to snap some thirst traps! No, resist the urge and channel your energy into creating with your friends.

One of you can be the designated stylist, while the other curates the set, another friend goes location hunting, your make up novice friend paints your faces, and you can all take turns behind the camera.

If you go into it with your creative muscles buzzing, you will snap a memory that will forever remind you of the times you ran amuck with your friends, rather than nursing your hurt heart.

Friends are the best medicine, and we all know that self-isolating isn’t always the most productive way to heal.

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Journaling can also be calming. (Credit: Instagram)

Get playful with playdough 

Okay, okay, okay, understandably, this is one of the more left-field suggestions on the list but hear us out: Playdough is one of the most calming activities you can get lost in for hours.

It may be in the texture that is so squishy warm under your hands or because you can create art that can be as goofy as you want, but whatever you choose to do with it, it is our guarantee you’ll feel like a new person after.

Because it is a creative stress ball, its sensory effect is soothing and has calming results, which is why parents buy playdough for their children.

Do yourself a favour and get back in touch with this childhood activity and forget your worries.

Write a love letter to yourself 

You can try whatever you want to feel better after being ghosted, but realistically nothing may work except time.

But this may be an excellent opportunity to reflect on the reasons why you deserve to feel love without needing a message back to affirm your worth.

It may feel a little naff to write a love letter to yourself, but it’s important you nurture the most significant relationship you will ever have in your life, and that’s the one with yourself.

It doesn’t have to be a letter; it could be a video, a poem or an artwork but make sure you create something that will serve as a reminder in the future that you are worthy of love, in whatever form it comes in.

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