He’s funny, he’s sweet and he’s a total babe. There’s just one prob – he’s your BFF’s brother, eek!
If you’ve been in this scenario before, or you’ve had to deal with a pal crushin’ on your sibling, then you now it can be peak awks.
That’s why we’ve enlisted the help of relationship expert Katia Loisel from thelovedestination.com.au on how to handle this sticky sitch – from both sides!
OK, SO HOW EXACTLY IS DATING A FRIEND’S SIBLING ANY DIFFERENT FROM A ‘NORMAL’ RELATIONSHIP?
“Dating a friend’s sibling changes the dynamic of your relationship with your friend,” Katia says. “It can feel like there are three of you in the relationship.
“Plus it can be very emotionally intensive as you negotiate you and your friend’s feelings of guilt, resentment and jealousy,” she adds.
“It’s also harder to get alone time with your crush without offending your friend.”
SO WHAT HAPPENS IF MY FRIEND ISN’T OK WITH IT?
At this point you may want to seriously ask yourself whether this crush is worth losing a friendship over.
“It would be wise to put your feelings on ice for a while,” Katia suggests. “In the early stages of attraction, your body is awash with dopamine and serotonin (basically fee-good chemicals), which make you infatuated with your crush, once this has worn off it will help you to see things clearly.
“If you feel the same in six months time, then reassess.”
SO I HAVE A CRUSH ON A FRIEND’S SIBLING, HOW SHOULD I APPROACH HER ABOUT IT?
If you feel like there’s something there between you and a friend’s sibling, Katia recommends treading lightly.
“There sort of relationships can come between friendships, so it’s best to work out if the feelings are mutual before you do anything,” she says.
“Have an honest chat with your friend. Acknowledging your feelings can help you both work through them, and in many cases the strengthened bond and support can help you to understand your feelings.”
MY FRIEND LIKES MY SIBLING – HOW SHOULD I TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT?
It’s important to remember that this situation is awkward for both of you. “Before you speak to your friend, assess your feelings about the situation from a neutral, calm state.
“If their crush brings up negative feelings, ask yourself what is it exactly you’re feeling,” Katia explains.
Once you’ve established this, you can move into have a chill conversation about the situation.
“Be honest about how you feel, without pointing blame,” Katia adds. “If you feel like this could affect your friendship, tell them. The more honest you are, the more likely it is you can deal with issues before they arise. You can also use this to set guidelines to ensure your friendship doesn’t suffer.”
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