LIFE AND ADVICE

Bestie, Here’s The Red Flags You Might Be Ignoring in Guys

If his name starts with a "J", beware...
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This whole Olivia Rodrigo and Joshua Bassett dumpster fire has got us thinking… were there red flags? According to her bop of an album Sour… yes, yes there were.

There usually are an any ex-relationship, whether we like to admit it or not.

WATCH: Olivia Rodrigo’s Good 4 U video directed by Petra Collins

Red flags could quite literally be waving furiously back and forth in front of us but our love-hazed brains will simply ✨not see them ✨. 

No matter how many times our bestie warns us about that toxic boy, giving us red-flag receipts time and time again, all too often we choose to ignore them. 

But, inevitably, things crash and burn and we wished we’d taken notice of the warning signs when they were occuring.

So, acting as your pseudo-bestie, Girlfriend has compiled a list of all the major dating red flags to watch out for before it’s too late.

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“Brown guilty eyes and little white lies.” – Traitor, Olivia Rodrigo. (Credit: Getty)

1. MEN

Just kidding…. unless 👀. Kidding.

damiano-david
Not to be dramatic but we would risk it all for Damiano David. (Credit: Instagram)

2. TOXIC MASCULINITY

If someone you’re dating has ever called a guy “girly” or “gay” for wearing nail polish, a skirt, or other stereotypically “feminine” clothing, this should raise alarm bells. 

It might seem tame, but continuous use of this kind of sexist and homophobic dialogue in society leads to its normalisation which ultimately contributes to a culture of violence against women and the LGBTQIA+ community. 

If a guy is pressed about a dude literally just wearing nail polish then 1. He is missing out and 2. That’s really embarrassing for him and you should run far away from that backwards, insecure and unstylish boy.

We recommend you run into the arms of Italian musician Damiano David (come on, we know you’ve been simping over him since Eurovision) who isn’t afraid to rock a skirt or eyeliner.

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“F**k off, stop calling me Josh.” – Josh, Peach PRC. (Credit: Instagram)

3. IF HIS NAME STARTS WITH A J

OK disclaimer: We’re sure there are heaps of lovely guys who have a name starting with J. But that said, if you meet a dude who’s raising red flags, more often that not his name starts with this letter.

Of course, there is the Joshua Bassett and Olivia Rodrigo saga. And that is merely the slightly less angsty younger sibling to Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift’s breakup.

Remember when Tay Tay punched us collectively in the gut with the lyric, “I’m a crumpled up piece of paper lying here,” in All Too Well, an anthem she wrote about her split with Jake.

Not only that, Australian TikToker and musician Peach PRC wrote an entire diss track about her ex-boyfriend, coincidently named Josh. We’re sure Olivia Rodrigo is really resonating with the lyric, “All the girls who’ve dated Josh will sing along”.

If you’re a decent man reading this whose name starts with J (John Krasinski we’re looking at you) perhaps it’s time to go by your middle name, your reputation is being ruined by the toxic J’s.

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“Gaslighter, denier, doin’ anything to get your ass farther,” – Gaslighter, The Chicks. (Credit: YouTube)

4. MR. GASLIGHTER

If a guy continuously tells you you’re being overly “paranoid”, “emotional”, or “dramatic”, or that you’re “imagining” things, “misremembering”, or that your friends are “putting ideas in your head”, these are all signs of gaslighting – a major red flag.

A gaslighter, as well as being an absolute banger of a Chicks song, is the act of manipulating someone psychologically to the point where they question their own sanity.

As The Chicks put it, “Gaslighter, denier, doin’ anything to get your ass farther.”

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Instagram is not reality. (Credit: Instagram)

6. WHEN HE EXCLUSIVELY FOLLOWS ONE BODY TYPE

OK obviously we’re against policing your partner’s Instagram. But if you notice that the guy you’re dating only follows airbrushed, cellulite- and wrinkle- free models then this could be a red flag with regards to his expectations for women.

It might be worth having a conversation with him to make sure he understands that all bodies are different, not to mention that Instagram is so far from reality that its “standard of beauty” is literally impossible to reach.

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Treat Harry With Kindness. (Credit: Getty)

7. WHEN HE DOESN’T VIBE WITH HARRY STYLES

This one’s a no brainer? It’s Harry Styles? He’s talented, charismatic and attractive. If he has an issue with him then, we don’t know, that just seems kind of suss.

andy-samberg-well-actually
Andy Samberg spitting straight facts once again. (Credit: Reddit)

8. THE MANSPLAINER

Have you ever explained something to someone literally perfectly before a guy swoops in all patronising, saying, “Well, actually, I think what she was trying to say….”

Ugh it was probably a J-name too. Imagine being so threatened by a woman speaking that you waste everyone’s time by re-explaining 🙄. 

If a man undermines you by mansplaining, alarm sounds should replace wedding bells.

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Could you BE any lazier? (Credit: NBC)

9. WHEN HE DOESN’T PULL HIS WEIGHT

Imagine being in the kitchen and cleaning up while a dead-weight dude goes outside to run around like a dog or sets up camp in front of the TV to take a nap. Thanks dude, give us nothing! Well, nothing but red flags.

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“Whatever we wear, wherever we go, yes means yes, no means no.” (Credit: Getty)

9. THE #NOTALLMEN GUY

Whenever allegations of sexual assault crop up, which unfortunately is disturbingly often, there is always one ego-bruised man who just can’t help but spit out words along the lines of… “But not all men!!! Not me!! Stop villainising me! 😤😭”. Pack it up, temper tantrum. 

This one’s a BIG red flag. If you want to understand further why the “Not All Men” discourse is extremely toxic then we have done an explainer here.

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Something’s fishy 👀. (Credit: Getty)

10. WHEN HIS SOCIAL MEDIA FEATURES HIM WITH A FISH

We just… why? Like why? Not hating on anyone’s hobbies. Like go off fisherman, the Little Mermaid is quaking. But there’s just something about seeing a guy proudly holding a fish on social media that gives us the ick. Time to spice up your Insta profile to something less.. fishy.

Just kidding. Post whatever you want… except for #NotAllMen 🤮.

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