No freaking idea what he means when he’s texting you? Same.
The best way to understand the mind of a ~guy~ is by getting an actual guy to translate for us.
Especially text-language.
So, let’s get to it… here are the typical texts we’ve all received from guys, #decoded.
TEXT 1
BOY: You hooking up with anyone?
GIRL: Nope!
BOY: You should with someone 🙂
Old people constantly complain about the overuse of smiley faces in teen texts. “Kids are destroying our language!” they scream, while reading old books filled with n-words. But in this case, the smiley face is essential. This boy is smart, like Shakespeare or some other legendary wordsmith. Without the smiley face, that text would be an insult. But with it, he’s telling you he wants to touch lips.
TEXT 2
BOY: Do you want to come to a party with me on Friday as my plus one?
I think sometimes girls get a little carried away with deciphering hidden meanings in boy texts. Boys aren’t that mysterious. This guy can’t ask you out any more explicitly. “My plus one” means “my date”. If he’d said something like, “Do you want to come to a party with me on Friday as my pet Rottweiler?”, then I’d understand your confusion.
TEXT 3
BOY: Hey, what’s up beautiful?
This could be misleading. At first glance, this text is a compliment, but we need more context. He could be one of those guys who walks around wearing a T-shirt with a scarf and calls everyone “babe”. If that’s the case, he’s a d-bag. Delete!
TEXT 4
BOY: xxx
Damn, this kid is cryptic! He could be giving you three kisses, advising you of the international symbol for pornography, or recommending that great Vin Diesel action movie from 2002. Your best bet would be to reply to him with three question marks.
TEXT 5
BOY: 🙂
Sure, I mentioned earlier how important the smiley face was to the world of texting, but this boy just seems dim-witted. I have no idea what he’s trying to tell you, but I guess it’s better than a frowny face?
TEXT 6
BOY: I love talking to you. You’re so easy to talk to.
Aaargh, this text is so cute and sweet! I hope you felt super fuzzy inside when you first read it, because I did. Boys don’t really like talking much to anybody besides those X-Box headset things, so this is a compliment of the highest order. Flick your hair flirtatiously and give this boy a really long cuddle the next time you see him.
TEXT 7
BOY: Have you done your English homework yet? Let’s share answers tomorrow at school…
The fact that he’s making plans to meet up with you is a good sign, but this could be a trick. Especially if you’re the smartest girl in school and he’s the troublemaker from the wrong side of the tracks. That has some cool rom-com possibilities, but listen to your mum when she says don’t give away your homework answers to any boy!
TEXT 8
BOY: Do you and Samantha want to come to the beach on the weekend? Don’t forget to bring your friends.
Oh man. I hate to be the one to break this to you, but your crush really likes Samantha. Or else he has a friend who really likes Samantha. Either way, Samantha’s gonna get some special boy attention at the beach on Saturday while you’re forced to sit sunburned and alone by some dirty seagulls. Avoid letting that happen by replying to this dude with, “I don’t know, ask her yourself!”
TEXT 9
BOY: I miss you 😛
This is a nice message, although it would’ve been more romantic without that weird smirky face at the end. That’s boys for you though; we’re always battling our cornball tendencies. We can’t do anything lovey-dovey without undercutting it at the same time. It makes us feel ashamed, much like those times when we practised kissing on the family cat.
TEXT 10
BOY: c u tomoz bb, nite x
Damn, I bet you thought this was a romantic message too, didn’t you? A sweet reminder that he’s lying awake thinking about you, perhaps? Look closely, though; it’s a rushed-off hack job. He couldn’t spell even one word in its entirety! This is the kinda message older boys send to their girlfriends all the time to avoid being yelled at the following day – quick, empty, but sweet enough to confuse you. You might as well get used to it, though; you’ll be receiving these lame texts well into your married life (even on Valentine’s Day).
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