In an age where Instagram, TikTok and Twitter are the perfect platform to connect with your pals, it’s also a minefield when it comes to dating.
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It’s pretty common knowledge that we spend a fair bit of time on social media (but don’t forget to detox and put your phone down when you can, guys).
It’s a blessing and a curse – we get to chat to our mates whenever we please. But we may also spend a lot of time trying to work out the behaviour of others on their socials… namely people we’re dating.
Like, if you know your current date / crush / person you’re yet to DTR checks their socials three, four times a day then surely they can reply to your texts, right?!
Well, not necessarily…
Dolly Doctor takes us through the ins and outs of what your date might be thinking depending on their digital behaviour.
Here’s what their likes, shares and sudden social media silence really mean.
They used to ‘like’ all your Instagram pictures, then went quiet
Remember that Katy Perry song Hot n Cold? Even pop stars can’t work out what’s going on in some people’s heads!
Being eager one minute then going silent the next is about as annoying as a week’s worth of detention.
But the trick is to not overthink it – because it might not be about you at all.
Maybe they’ve been busy with family stuff or they have heaps of homework and not had much time for Insta.
Give them a bit of space and see what happens. If they like you, they’ll come back to tweet you.
If they don’t, their interest may have moved on to something or someone else and they weren’t worthy of your time anyway – you deserve the very best!
They suddenly unfriend you
Rumour has it that Rita Ora once dumped DJ boyf Calvin Harris by unfollowing him on Insta.
Can you imagine anything worse?! What if that happened to you? Check to see if they’ve unfriended anyone else. If they’ve disappeared from all your friends’ lists, they probably went off FB altogether. Some people simply get bored of it, and others are more private.
If it looks like they’ve digitally ditched you, think back to the last time you spoke or had contact. Did they seem upset? Did you guys have a fight? If so and if you are feeling confused, perhaps a private message could be an option. You could say something like, “Hey, I noticed you unfriended me and I just wondered if everything was OK? Let me know if you’d like to talk about it.”
A mature way of dealing with things would be for them to reply and explain but, if they don’t, then try to forget about them and their weird behaviour.
If something is up, you’ve given them a good chance to talk to you. That’s all you can do *shrugs*.
You @ them online but they never reply
Tagging or mentioning someone online can feel a little daunting, especially if they don’t reply.
If they are on social media all the time replying to everyone but you, it might be that they’re just not that into you. But don’t take it personally – that just means that there’s someone else who will be!
Our advice? Stop tweeting them altogether. You can’t do much about that, but you can do something about what you want to put on social media.
If they are someone who just doesn’t use their account that much, don’t take it personally as they probably won’t notice who is tagging them at all!
They’re *all* over your status and pics
People are hard to work out sometimes. Some are just as obsessed with Instagram as we are, but some think they’re too cool for it and barely upload their vacay photo dump.
You’ll know if they’re a big social media fan because their activity might pop up on your newsfeed.
So, it could be that they ‘like’ everything of everyone’s. On the other hand, some people don’t pay much attention unless they’re interested.
‘Liking’ all your pictures might be the equivalent of them being interested.
It can be a great confidence boost when a someone openly flirts with you, but bear in mind they could ‘like’ a bunch of other people’s pictures too. If they start commenting more often, asking questions or private messaging you, then this could be a sure fire sign they want to get to know you. Hurrah!
They’ve read your message but haven’t replied
It can be confusing when you’ve put yourself out there and they haven’t responded, but don’t jump to conclusions by thinking they don’t like you.
They could just be locked in an Xbox battle with their mates and waiting till they’re alone so has more time to reply properly.
Also, people can be forgetful! They might see a message when they’re running late for school and then forget all about it until they next log on, but that could be another day or two if they’re busy.
Try to forget about it until they reply. No good will come of refreshing your feed every five minutes to see if they’ve responded. The ball is now in their court!
What the expert says
Don’t get too caught up in their online behaviour, says Kylie Dunjey from Relationships Australia.
“Social media can feel like it’s filling up lots of gaps in your life, but think about when you use it most. Is it when you’re out having fun and living the life of your dreams, or is it when you’re a little bit bored, imagining what fun everyone else is having?
“When we’re really enjoying ourselves and focused on the people we’re with, rather than maybe impressing the people we’re not with, we sometimes don’t use social media quite as much. What does this have to do with people you’re interested in?
“Well, do you want to be with someone who is more interested in you and what you’re doing, or telling the world about it?
“Being with a person who is not that into social media might be a really great thing. What’s important is how you are with each other, in person. That interaction and connection is more meaningful than any Facebook status.”
Have a question for Dolly Doctor? Drop us an email – dollydoctor@aremedia.com.au
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