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We’ve all had one of those days. Maybe you got a low mark on an assignment you worked really hard on or caught your BFF flirting with your crush. You feel stressed, anxious or sad, with no-one to turn to but social media. Banging out your frustrations on the keyboard, you vent about your bad day and feel instantly better. But what should you do if you see one of your friends posting about something troubling? We spoke to Jackie Hallan, senior manager of digital content from ReachOut, to help you through this tricky sitch…
Your friend used to post on Insta every day. From stories with her cute pup to fresh-faced beach pics, she was always popping up on your feed. But you’ve noticed she hasn’t posted anything for a couple of weeks after someone trolled one of her selfies.
When someone drops off Insta, it can be a sign that something else is going on for them so it’s great that you’ve picked up on this. It’s good to check in with your friend – maybe on a walk with her and her cute pup when she’s feeling relaxed. You could say you’ve noticed she’s been posting less and ask what changed for her. As a friend, all you have to do is be there, listen and acknowledge how she’s feeling. You probably know from your own experience we don’t usually want people to fix the problem for us, we just need to get what’s bothering us off our chest. If you do feel like your friend is struggling, you could encourage her to chat to a parent, a teacher or a trusted adult who can help put some more support in place.
Your BFF decided to go on a health kick in the new year. Working out more and eating healthily, she was regramming fitspo posts every day. But the images of fit and strong babes have been replaced with super skinny models, and your friend is starting to look like them…
Exercise and healthy eating have many benefits, including for our wellbeing. How good does it feel after you’ve been for a run or made time for a yoga sesh and those endorphins are pumping? Like everything in life, though, balance is key. We all need our rest days and a Tim Tam now and again. The trouble with all the Insta fitspo is it doesn’t always show a balanced life – and it’s all over our feeds! If you’re concerned your bestie is struggling, she might appreciate you opening up the conversation about it. Maybe you could join her for a workout and talk about what you see in those posts. What goes into looking that way? Are they paid to work out every day? You could also make an effort to share some body positive posts on your own account, which might connect with your friend.
A friend from school has started posting emosh quotes and talking about how miserable she is and how life is just too much right now. You’re not that close and you’re tempted to think she’s just being dramatic, but you feel unsettled…
Sometimes we find it easier to reach out anonymously than to talk to our fam and friends. It can definitely come across as dramatic, but this could be the only way your friend feels like she can ask for help right now. Comments like “life is just too much right now” could be a sign that your friend is feeling down, and may even be having thoughts of suicide. Even if you’re not close, don’t be afraid to get in touch with her to ask her how she’s going. Whether it’s online or the next day at school, let your friend know you’re worried about her. You could suggest she jumps into the ReachOut Forums where she can connect with other young people who have gone through similar things and have some first-hand advice. If you still feel unsettled, it’s a good idea to mention it to a teacher at school so they can check in and make sure she has the right supports in place.
One of the guys from your school sent a Snapchat of a girl in a bra and you’re pretty sure it’s one of your friends. You don’t want to get involved and she’ll be mortified if she finds out, but you’re worried she’ll send him more.
Sharing private pictures is never OK. Just because someone shared the pic once, it doesn’t mean they consented to it being shared again. Sharing (or threatening to share) someone’s personal pics or vids without their consent is called ‘image-based abuse’, and it’s a serious issue. It affects around 1 in 5 Aussies and is unlawful in most states and territories. While it’s totally normal to be worried about how your friend will respond, her privacy has to come first. You could message her and let her know what you think has happened and get her to check if it’s true. Even if it’s not your friend, you could report the behaviour to a teacher who you trust to investigate without mentioning you as the source of the information. You may also want to stop following this guy on Snapchat as he doesn’t seem like someone you can trust.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit reachout.com
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