Tammy Nelson, a sex and relationship therapist and the resident relationship expert at Ashley Madison, told Business Insider that people who stray either want to leave the relationship they’re in, or they don’t.
The former end up having a “can-opener affair”.
“It’s kind of a passive-aggressive way of saying, ‘I want out,’ even before I know I want out,” Tammy says, and adds that it’s mostly women who are guilty this option.
Those who cheat but don’t want to finish their primary partnership are often looking to satisfy a certain need they’re not getting from their significant other.
“It’s a way of filling that one part of their life that their marriage doesn’t. And then they feel like they have everything.”
“Maybe their marriage gives them physical and emotional validation, but they’re not getting the sexual risk-taking that they would want. So they get that from the affair.”
Either way, they both suck.