Ever met someone who you don’t really click with? Whether it’s your math teacher, that guy or a friend of a friend when someone clearly doesn’t enjoy your company without reason it’s only natural to ask, “but, but why?”
Feeling as though you belong is awesome and something ever single human being craves. Psychologist Dr Timothy Sharp admits that social acceptance is vitally important to us all, whether we’re male or female.
“Being accepted, liked or loved means we're part of the group or tribe and that means we're safe,” he says. Think about it from an evolutionary perspective, even the cavemen wanted to be loved and accepted into the pack, it was essential for their safety and ultimately for our survival.
On the other hand, being rejected means being at risk. While us girls don't face the same life-threatening risks our predecessors did, not being accepted or liked by people we meet is in some ways like this. Dr Timothy adds that social acceptance is still vitally important and brings with it positive emotions, “which are far more preferable to the negative emotions that come with being lonely, isolated, left out and/or rejected,” Dr Timothy says.
While it’s nice to know it’s normal to yearn to be loved/accepted/part of the gang it’s important to not let it take control of your life or make you feel inadequate, if someone doesn’t like you, you’re still awesome regardless.
Three-step guide to not caring
It’s important to remember it’s a natural desire to want to be liked and this is top priority when trying to make (and keep) friends in high school. But never fear there are ways you can overcome this constant desire to be liked and get on with being your awesome self.
- Understand that not everyone will like you: it’s a harsh truth, but it’s human nature for some people to get along and for others to not. Every friendship is different, some are stronger than others and there’s a reason for that.
- Focus on the important people in your life: people who you get along with best help you grow and keep you happy. Avoid dwelling on the people that are harder to crack and make your already awesome relationships ever better. The more time you spend with the people who really do love having you around, the sooner you’ll forget about the people who you don’t gel with.
- Be yourself: Sure you can attempt to kill this crazy-person-who-doesn’t-understand-how-awesome-you-are with kindness but if this means you’ll be acting in a way that doesn’t come natural to you it could do more damage than it’s worth. According to Dr Timothy, “it’s important to be true to who you are as an individual and to what you believe in with regards to morals and values.”
Five people who will always think you’re the bomb!
- Your parents – it’s their job to love you unconditionally.
- You pets – without you they’d be really sad. Sure, they can’t talk but if they could they’d tell you they think you’re amazing every single day.
- Your bestie – you’re buddies for a reason you’ve got a mutual admiration for each other.
- Girlfriend – This hot little website in your hands right now (and the people who make it) totally dig your amazingness.
- Your fandom – Directioners, Beliebers, Swifties, whichever group you belong to you’re loved, like, lots!