We all know what our duties as a bestie involve. We need to be on call to discuss the latest shocking plotline of Riverdale, we're expected to give truthful but tactful fash advice and from time to time, we need to be there to console them during a breakup.
It's an extremely sucky time for her but it can also be a tough time for you when your friend is constantly devo and you're not sure what you're supposed to say.
DW, we've got you covered!
Here are 5 things to say to your BFF when she's going through a breakup...
1. "Are you okay?"
This seems like a V. obvious one, but it's important that you ask her how she's feeling. For all you know, she may have been hit with nothing but tough love phrases like "eh, get over it" when what she really needs rn is to vent and have her feelings validated.
Whether it was her decision to call it quits or not, remember that any breakup requires a grieving process so be there with non-judgemental support. Which leads us to our next point...
2. "I'm here for you"
Going through a breakup can be a V. lonely time. You feel like you've been rejected by someone you care about and the obvious response can be to isolate yourself from peeps.
She might stop checking the group chat, bail on plans you'd made and maybe even take a day or two off from school.
Your job as a bestie is to assure her that she's not alone!
Let her know that it's totally fine if she wants her space rn, but that you're there for her when she's ready. The phrase "I'm here for you" legit cannot be uttered enough! Text it, FB message it, repeat it over the phone. Do whatever you can to let her know she's not alone 'coz she has an amazing friend (read: you) in her life.
3. "It's okay to be sad"
Sometimes people feel low-key embarrassed about being upset post-breakup. They'll be thinking things like 'we were only dating for a few months, why am I this sad?'
Let them know it's totally okay to feel sad right now and that what they're going through is really sucky. Telling someone not to be sad won't make the sadness magically disappear!
It's important that you validate her feelings so that she can get all her emotions out and eventually get over the breakup.
4. "You're so much better off without him!"
Okay, we know this one sounds totally cliche and they probz will have heard it from loads of people, so you need to convince them that it's true by backing it up with the cold hard facts.
Say things like "you were so much happier before you met him" or "there are cuter and nicer guys out there who are into you".
You could also give her things to look forward to that'll be made better without having a boyfriend, like: "now you can come to that party on the weekend and be ~fire~ and flirty."
Tell them that this guy was so not right for her and by ditching him, an even better bae is just a DM away.
5. "Today sucks, but tomorrow will be better"
It literally feels like the end of the world for your friend rn. She probz feels like she'll never find another bae and will also never feel happy again. Let her know that this is simply not true!
Tell her that once she gets all the crying and negative feels out, she'll wake up one day and feel 3000% back to normal.
So what do you do when your bestie has been down in the dumps for a while and you're V. worried?
If you feel like what your bestie is going through has escalated to a point beyond an ordinary breakup, it might be time to seek some professional help to make sure that she's okay.
Suggest that the two of you make a visit to your school guidance counsellor (stress the fact that you will be there with her to hold her hand while she vents to the trained professional!).
If she's not down with that idea and would prefer to speak to someone anonymously, point her in the direction of the Kid's Helpline where she can speak to someone anonymously either over the phone (1800 55 1800) or online.