Last year Selena Gomez made the brave decision to enter rehab for 3 months, cancelling parts of her Revival Tour and leaving social media. The singer's much-deserved time off has seen her bounce back better and stronger than ever, and now she's ready to talk about that difficult time in her life.
In a new interview with Vogue, of which she's slaying on the cover, she gets candid about how devastating the tour circuit left her feeling:
“I’ve cried on stage more times than I can count, and I’m not a cute crier. Tours are a really lonely place for me. My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting on stage, or right after leaving the stage. Basically, I felt I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable. I felt I wasn’t giving my fans anything, and they could see it—which, I think, was a complete distortion. I was so used to performing for kids."
Selena hasn't hidden how dark this time was for her, but for the first time she talks about her experience in the facility in Tennessee where she stayed for 90 days with no mobile phone and in the company of a small group of other women:
"You have no idea how incredible it felt to just be with six girls, real people who couldn't give two sh*ts about who I was, who were fighting for their lives. It was one of the hardest things I've done, but it was the best thing I've done."
While there Selly was introduced to dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), a treatment used to improve communication, help regulate emotions, and teach mindfulness, and it was the breakthrough moment! Selly now sees a therapist and keeps the practice up five days a week:
"DBT has completely changed my life. I wish more people would talk about therapy. We girls, we're taught to be almost too resilient, to be strong and sexy and cool and laid-back, the girl who's down. We also need to feel allowed to fall apart."
Of course, Selena is in a much better place now and is back in the studio (plus dating The Weeknd, but that's an added bonus). Selly knows how lucky she is too, but has confessed she finds peace knowing the wild ride will be over one day:
“For a change, it feels like I don’t have to be holding my breath and waiting for somebody to judge a piece of work that I’m doing. I’m not eager to chase a moment. I don’t think there’s a moment for me to chase. Look, I love what I do, and I’m aware of how lucky I am, but—how can I say this without sounding weird? I just really can’t wait for people to forget about me.”
You are our actual hero Selena <3
If you or a friend is struggling with similar feelings, there is help at hand. You can speak confidentially to a trained counsellor 24 hours a day at headspace.org.au or Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800.
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