*WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR RIVERDALE SEASON 2 EPISODE 8*
So, if you don't wanna know went down, turn back now.
Last weeks episode basically predicted that the entire Riverdale was about to be murdered, however we were greeted with a much more Serpent-oriented episode, and a lot was revealed.
VERONICA AND ARCHIE
The episode starts off with high hopes for #Varchie, making out in every location they can find... however things don't stay so peachy for the couple.
After Archie tells Veronica that he loves her, she totally freaks out and keeps avoiding the 'talk' with him. Instead, she throws herself into trying to investigate the 'Reaper' killing that happened years ago in Riverdale.
She and Archie discover that the Reaper killed a family in town, however one child survived and changed his name. Turns out that same person is the janitor, Joseph Svenson, at Riverdale High. They confront him, thinking he could be the Black Hood, but he ain't.
The episode doesn't end well for #Varchie, with Veronica basically figuring out that the reason she can't say 'I love you' back to Archie is because she's never heard her own mum say it to her dad. Ouch. And just like that, they are broken up.
F.P JONES IS FREE!!!
Yayyy, hot papa is out of jail. Although, he's decided to leave the Serpents and stop drinking too. So he's on the straight and narrow, working at Pop's as a server for a whole 5 minutes before he changes his mind.
But Jughead wants to throw him a party. A retirement party. He and Betty plan the party at the Whyte Wyrm Serpent club, where Betty inquires to Toni how she can be more involved in Jugheads life here. All she has to do is a pole dance....! Okay then.
And boy does she do one. In front of the entire party, including her mum that rocked up looking like this:
Betty stripped off on stage and danced for Jughead and it was bloody strange.
F.P. takes the mic after Betty's interesting performance and tells the crowd that there's no way he will ever leave the Serpents, making them all whoop and cheer for him, but he later tells Jughead that he had no choice. He found out about Penny Peabody blackmailing him, and is going to take over from here. Daddy to the rescue.
ALICE COOPER AND HER SHADY PAST
Alice fully embraces her Serpent past, turning up to the party in black leather and mesh. Oh, and did we mention that there is SO much going on between her and FP??
#Confirmed, the two definitely have a romantic past and they're totally about to relive that. We're here for it TBH.
CHERYL IS... BEING WEIRD STILL
Cheryl is still acting strange towards Josie, although we still don't know her motive. All we really see is her massage Josie's back with some oil, and what we're thinking is that she still thinks she owes Josie from saving her from Nick St. Clair, or is totally crushing on her.
BETTY AND JUGHEAD... PREPARE TO CRY
They're over, we think? Jughead is not happy with how Betty did the initiation dance to become a Serpent, and after finding out that his dad has to now come and save him from Penny, he won't let Betty be dragged down by him either.
They have a really emotional break up scene after the party, and honestly it's so hard to watch.
So #Varchie is over and #Bughead is donezeo... what does that mean? Well apparently, #Barchie is back on. The end of the episode shows Archie (topless and totally smoking hot) looking out his window to see Betty. Jughead narrates that it's like he's seeing her for the first time. Betty notices him and looks longingly back at him, and fam we can't deal with this.
On one hand, we've always had a soft spot for those two to be together, and TBH we don't feel the chemistry between Veronica and Archie.
But Betty and Jughead are end game.
We're so confused.
Also, where the heck has the 'Black Hood' run off to?!