So, if you don't wanna know went down, turn back now.
In episode 2, we were left with a huge cliffhanger. Students Moose and Midge were shot by the mysterious green-eyed killer, and Archie has bought a gun to protect his dad.
Jughead has been warned by his dad NOT to work with Penny Peabody, the South Side Serpent's lawyer, and Pop's now revived diner has supposedly become a safe haven for drug deals. Yikes.
Well, if you thought that was juicy, just wait 'til you see what happens this episode...
Kevin has an interesting storyline this episode. He and Betty are having a lot of issues. Betty finds out that Kevin is going into the woods at night to hook up with guys, because it's his only way of finding someone supposedly.
"Why can't you just use Grindr like every other gay guy in the world?" Betty asks him, making that our new fave quote of the season.
Kevin actually finds Midge and Moose after the shooting because he was in the woods at the same time.
After Kevin refuses to stop going into the woods, Betty tells his SHERIFF FATHER. Yikes. However, it pushes his dad to talk openly to Kevin about his sexuality and they have an adorable moment.
THE LODGE FAM
Veronica is having the gang over to watch "The MATCHelorette" (DED), where Archie will finally meet Hiram. Ooft.
Hiram is shady AF towards Archie. He becomes very interested in Archie's efforts to protect the town, however pushing him to ATTACK not DEFEND. This can't end well.
"The police aren't always the solution. Sometimes we need to take matters into our own hands. we need to protect ourselves," Hiram tells him. Impressionable Archie agrees.
Hiram is definitely up to something.
As for Hermione, she is totally clashing with Veronica RN about how "thirsty" she is for her daddy's attention.
Moose and Midge are alive, thank god. Moose is hurt because he covered Midge with his body, so he is in the hospital.
Archie is sure that the three shootings are connected, he visits M&M (Midge and Moose's new ship name) in the hospital, where they talk more about the killer. They talk about his green eyes again, confirming that it's the same man.
Archie decides it's time for him and his mates to start a neighbourhood watch to protect the town. Actually, he makes a video of him and his friends looking, um, like this...
Interesting. But we're into it?
Anyway, Alice receives an anonymous package which contains Fred Andrew's missing wallet... and Miss. Grundy's Lolita inspired red love-heart sunglasses. So yes, they're connected. Along with their belongings, there is a note from "The Black Hood" asking Alice to publish a letter that explains how he alone murdered Miss. Grundy, shot Midge, Moose and Fred.
It's becoming pretty apparent that the shooter is after "sinners" (are we watching Saw?) and pregnant Polly Cooper wants to run away to a farm.
"I am an unwed mother carrying my cousins babies. I am the poster child for sinner," Polly yells. Okay, that's our new fave quote.
JUGHEAD @ SOUTHSIDE HIGH W/ TONI TOPAZ
YEP! Here she is. Toni gives Jughead a tour where students are doing "The JJ" (The Jingle Jangle drug) in the hallways.
She gives him a classic Mean Girls introductory to the cafeteria...
But Jughead sits alone, declining her invite to sit with ~The Serpents~. She's one of them, and assures that they will have his back as he is a serpent by blood.
"You wanna get through this? You should hang by the Serpents."
He eventually social suicide's himself by being a nerd in class, impressing his teacher. He then gets the brilliant idea to revive the school's paper.
This leads to him gets jumped by the school's gang "The Goolies" because he's writing about "The JJ" at school. He lies to Betty about it, but Toni knows the truth. Dramaaa!
This is where things between Betty/Jughead/Toni start to kick off. We can feel it in our bones that a triangle is forming. Uh oh #Bughead fans.