Is it possible to break up with your favourite group without feeling guilty AF? GF reader Kaia* tells it like it is.
Sah in love
Flash back to 1997 and that was me in the ¾ cargos and one-shouldered top with the hair full of butterfly clips listening to Hanson on my Sony disc man. The It trio were the ’90s version of One Direction – basically boy band goals but with longer hair and the same parents. I knew every word to their three albums, had scrapbooks full of fangirly collages, and my room basically existed purely as a place to store my merch. While watching their video clips on VHS (yes, I’m OLD), I dreamed of the day that I could save up enough money for a ticket to Oklahoma so I could stalk their childhood homes, and was convinced that my marriage to drummer Zac was actually happening. Obsessed? Yes. Number one fan? Probably.
But then one day after listening to their album for the 10 millionth time I had a realisation that I was seriously guilty and upset about. I didn’t want posters of them above my bed anymore. I felt weird about the pocket-sized pic I had of Taylor in my wallet. And their music wasn’t something that I felt like listening to… ever. I was kind over them, and I didn’t tell anyone for ages.
The feeling’s NOT mutual
The thing with a fangirl break up is that it’s not like the band in question has done anything. In fact it’s the exact opposite; they’re still making music, being awesome and looking cute. It’s that you’re not vibing them like you used to, and it’s weird.
Going from the World’s Biggest Hanson Fan to Not The World’s Biggest Hanson Fan was a process. My obsession was pretty well known in my girl gang, and so the absence of any Hanson-related band tees/convo starters was noted. I had friends say stuff like, “you haven’t talked about Hanson for five mins, are you OK?”. I’d laugh, smile and think ‘how do I NOT be that Hanson fangirl anymore?’ without making it this huge thing.
I slowly took down my posters, changed my email address (from Hansongurl87@hotmail.com) played it down to my mum and sis, and pretty much just didn’t want to talk about it, ever. It’s not like I’d broken up with a boyfriend or anything. But it kind of felt like it, in a weird kind of way. I didn’t want to be seen as that person that just abandons stuff. But I was. And it sucked.
And er, these days?
Now that it’s 2016 (and I’ve made peace with the split), being emo over it seems a little silly, but when you’re in the moment consciously breaking up with anything – yep, even a band – is big. My advice? If you’re currently fangirling over a celeb/band/YouTuber – have fun, heart the shiz out of them and go nuts with the Insta stalking. Just remember, that one day you might not feel like playing their music or watching their vlogs and that’s OK too. In the words of Hanson, “Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop!” Truth.
When you’re a fan girl who wants to quit...
Over your fave band? Keep the following in mind:
- Don’t beat yourself up! Your tastes change a LOT over time.
- Pack away your old scrapbooks/posters in a shoebox and store them somewhere safe. One day they’ll make AMAZING memories!
- Be conscious of the fact that some of your friends might still LOVE said group; so don’t go crazy bagging them out.
*Name has been changed for anonymity.