ICYMI: Louis Tomlinson just came out with his first ever solo interview after breaking up from the band, One Direction.
And, we have to warn you, you won't feel great after reading it.
Actual footage of us after reading the entire thing 20 times:
ANYWAY. Sitting down with The Guardian, here are some of the most heart-breaking quotes from the entire interview:
It begins on a sad note, describing Louis as:
"Not the best singer, not the high-energy guy, not the dude, Tomlinson discovered he was the one in the band who was most tuned into backstage logistics..."
Ouch. Our hearts.
Then, a lot of the interview is Louis comparing himself to his bandmates, and feeling as if he was unimportant, who didn't have much talent in comparison to the others.
"Zayn has a fantastic voice and for him it was always about owning that. Liam always had a good stage presence, same as Harry, they’ve both got that ownership. Harry comes across very cool. Liam’s all about getting the crowd going, doing a bit of dancing…”
“And then there’s me.”
Outraged, many fans have rallied behind Louis online to show their support, and to prove that they do love him, his voice and all his important contributions to the band.
Louis also revealed that while on X Factor, he was never given a solo. That brutally affected him...
"When you actually think about how that feels, standing on stage every single week, thinking: ‘What have I really done to contribute here? Sing a lower harmony that you can’t really hear in the mix?” He guesses, smiling wryly, that in those months he was best known as “The kid wearing espadrilles, stood in’t back.”
STOP IT LOUIS, YOU IS IMPO RTANT, YOU IS LOVED!
Louis has since collaborated with huge names, like Steve Aoki and Bebe Rexha, but he admits that reaching out to other artists as a solo act is not at all easy.
"I couldn’t say to you now that I could definitely get a superstar writer in a session with me. And I understand that. Harry won’t struggle with any of that.”
One of the saddest aspects of the interview surrounded his late mother Johannah Deakin, who passed away last year.
He revealed the exact moment his mother told him her medical condition was terminal while he was at Jamie Vardy's wedding. This explains that fan photo...
"Talk about your places, for something super-traumatic. My mum told me, uh, yeah, that she was definitely terminal."
Losing your mum is hard enough, but when you hear how close the two were... you might cry into the next decade.
“I remember the day I lost my virginity. I hadn’t even told any of my mates and I was, like: ‘Mum? I know this is really weird. But I’ve got to tell you…’ I remember thinking this is a bizarre conversation to be having with your mother. But it’s testament to how comfortable she made me.”
As you all may know, Louis performed his hit song "Just Hold On" during an X Factor performance, only a few days after she passed.
“I remember saying to her: ‘Mum, how the f*** do you expect me to do this now?’ And she didn’t swear much, my mum. She’d always tell me off for swearing. And this time she was like: ‘You’ve got to f****** do it, it’s as simple as that.’ It was football manager, team talk stuff.’”
Louis also admitted that his last year in One Direction was when he felt his best, and most confident... and that's when it ended.
“In the last year of One Direction I was probably the most confident I ever was. And then it was: ‘OK, hiatus!’”
He fought against it, but as we know... it happened regardless.
Hopefully, with his album coming out, Louis will see how talented he is... which he is. One thing the interview didn't touch on was Louis' songwriting skills, but true fans will know that already.
Louis actually had his new album playing during the interview, which has been described as:
"They’re modest, rather lovely pop songs that in their quiet way seem to acknowledge his underdog status."
We can't freaking wait.