When your fave person on Earth is separated from you by a landmass, daily life can feel like one long, silent scream. If your BFF moves away and things are a struggle, sit tight, we can help…
What if our friendship starts to fizzle out?
Alysha Keating, a registered psychologist of Warehouse One7, says you need to be able to speak up about this – lead with a feeling, rather than something like ‘You don’t answer my calls’ or ‘You’re so busy’.
“You can say, ‘Hey, this long-distance thing is hard, and I really miss ya, and I feel like we haven’t connected very well lately. What’s going on?’ “
You could even have a convo about what to do if you two drift apart before she moves away.
What if I feel jealous of her new pals?
“It’s OK to feel jealous. Feelings aren’t bad,” Alysha explains. She says you could check in with someone else – maybe someone older than you, who you trust, so you can process your feelings before you go to your friend. “You can’t go to her and say,
‘I don’t want you to have any other friends’ – that’s not realistic. You might need to work out why you’re hurt before you raise it with her.”
What if she goes silent on me and I think our friendship’s over?
You might want to try more than once, Alysha suggests, just in case she’s going through some stuff and can’t be everyone’s everything. If it really does seem to be over? “Sometimes, it’s about grieving and giving yourself a chance to feel really sad about the friendship you’ve lost.” In that sitch, go to your support network, so you don’t have to be sad by yourself.
What if she’s gone forever?
Go seek out your squad and regroup with them. Alysha says, “Find the place you belong – whether it’s with your family, your netball team or your dance group, go to them, and just let things happen.” That means not eagerly grabbing onto any potential new BFF in sight. “If you find someone you have the same kind of spark with, don’t force it.”