In the era of Instagram and the subsequent celebrity roastings that have come with it (thanks to the eagle-eyed Comments By Celebs team), we’ve become to define ‘Couple Goals’ by celeb pairs who aren’t afraid to poke fun at one another in front of the whole world. Couples such as Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds and Chrissy Teigen and John Legend have created a world where the strength of a relationship is defined by how well a couple has the ability to roast one another. Well, turns out we were right all along.
Researchers from Appalachian State University say poking fun at a partner is one of the strongest indicators of a healthy relationship – as long as you know where to draw the line.
Professor Jeffrey Hall, a communications studies researcher at the University of Kansas, US, has reviewed the findings of 39 studies of over 15,000 participants to pinpoint the importance of humour in romantic relationships. According to the professor, the fact that people think you’re funny or that you can make a joke out of anything is not strongly related to how satisfied you or your partner will be in a relationship. What is strongly related to relationship satisfaction, however, is the humour couples create together.
Translation: inside jokes are key to a healthy relationship.
“Say you and your partner share a quirky sense of humour, but romantic comedies or sit-coms do nothing for either of you,” Hall explained, “It’s not that any style or a sense of humour is any better or worse. What matters is that you both see quirky humour as hysterical. If you share a sense of what’s funny, it affirms you and affirms your relationship through laughter.”
“Make sure that not only your personalities mesh, but your humours do too – so no one takes offence, feels hurt, or gets defensive,” Laurel House, celebrity dating coach tells Cosmopolitan US.
The idea is to celebrate your differences not rub it in their face.
“When you roast each other’s quirks, you are effectively pointing out the little, sometimes ignored sides to your personalities,” House explains. “Those quirks tend to be the things that you love most about your partner.”
This article originally appeared on marie claire