Is negotiating with your folks harder than perfecting winged eyeliner? When you want something and your parents refuse to budge, it can be easy to get frustrated and resent your ’rents. So we spoke to Jolene Stockman, author of Total Blueprint for World Domination, to find out the best way to get your parents on your side.
GET A CAR
We get it – there’s nothing you’d like more than the freedom of having your own wheels. Jolene suggests giving your parents time to process the idea. “You can get whatever you want if you can inspire your parents to want it with you,” she says.
Tactic to try:
“Show them that you’re ready to take on the responsibility of a car. How? Ask them for driving lessons, save for a car deposit, or look for a job (you’re going to need petrol money anyway, right?),” says Jolene. Make sure you emphasise the car can be win-win – they won’t have to drive you anywhere, for example.
Avoid:
Lying. End of story. “Lying makes it harder for your parents to trust you, and will make it a lot easier for them to say no,” says Jolene.
GET A PET
Find a time to talk to your parents about a pet when they’re most comfortable, like after dinner or over Sunday breakfast, as they’re more likely to say yes when they’re feeling relaxed.
Tactic to try:
Ask questions! Find out why your parents have never considered a pet. Then, “Explain your plans for your pet’s home, food, exercise, and cleaning. Prove that you can make it happen,” says Jolene.
Avoid:
Pestering your ’rents. “On the pet issue, persistence is not the way to go. Parents can have valid arguments against letting you get a pet (like allergies). If this is the case, no amount of persuasion will work,” says Jolene.
GO AWAY WITH FRIENDS
“When it comes to going away with your friends, your parents need three things: details, details and more details,” say Jolene. Your parents will appreciate forward notice (like three months rather than three weeks) and your honesty, and they’re more likely to say yes if they have all the info as soon as possible.
Tactic to try:
Let them know everything: who, what, when, why, how long, your day-by-day fashion plan (jokes!). If they’re still unsure, Jolene suggests volunteering to stay in regular contact.
Avoid:
Whining about not being allowed to go. If your parents are ever going to say yes to a sitch like this, you need to put your mature pants on (even if they really itch and don’t quite fit properly). “The way you handle a no can make your next answer a yes,” says Jolene.
MOVE YOUR CURFEW
This one is tricky, mainly because you have parents who care about you (it’s not the worst thing in the world). Find a way for your parents to feel that you’ll be safe if you stay out later, like promising to text them every hour.
Tactic to try:
“Meet your current curfew. Do what you say you’re going to do, and be where you say you’re going to be. Don’t give your parents reasons not to trust you,” says Jolene. If your parents still say no, try asking if you can stay out later on special occasions.
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