Dropping in the final days of 2018, Netflix series You has quickly established itself as one of last year's most informative shows. The creepy tale of book store manager Joe Goldberg (Penn Badgley) and his obsessive stalking of customer Guinevere Beck (Elizabeth Lail) is not only an enjoyable psychological thriller, but it's also packed with lessons about how to avoid the guy with access to a climate-controlled chamber. Mild spoilers from the first episode of You follow.
Here are the things we picked up in just the first episode:
* Sort out your social media privacy settings
Do you really want Joe Public (or in this case, Joe Goldberg) to have access to your every waking thought and activity? Sometimes it's worth restricting access to what you post, if only to make it that much harder for someone to track down where you live, work and party.
* Just because a guy is hot, doesn't mean he's not creepy
With his TV star looks and easy charm, Joe doesn't seem like the kind of guy who'd jerk off on the street while watching your apartment. Spoiler alert: he is.
* It doesn't take supersonic hearing to eavesdrop in a crowded bar
When Joe follows Guinevere on a night out with her objectionable gal pals, he has no trouble following their conversation despite sitting some distance away and the bar being abuzz with activity. Who knew it was that easy to listen in?
* Don't leave your kid in the hallway while you argue and/or have sex
Joe's neighbour might just be the worst possible mother of all time. Not only does she kick her son, Paco (Luca Padovan), out while she and her boyfriend bicker and fornicate loudly, but she doesn't notice when Joe takes Paco off to the bookstore. Sure, the attention Joe pays fellow book-lover Paco is fairly non-creepy, but still...
* Never date the guy who makes artisinal soft drink
Oh, Beck. Benjamin Ashby Jr. III (Lou Taylor Pucci) is a total douche who actually manages to make Joe look like a viable alternative. You shouldn't be wasting your time on Benji and you certainly shouldn't be having sex with him for the world to see. Speaking of...
* Close your blinds occasionally
If you are going to sleep with the loser hipster and then finish yourself off after he leaves, maybe do it with the blinds shut? Yes, Beck doesn't ask to be stalked, but she doesn't need to make it easy for Joe (or anyone who happens to be pasing by) to watch her most intimate moments.
* Open mic nights + poetry + alcohol = disaster
It's only going to end one way: near death at a subway station. And puke.
* Always check behind the shower curtain
If you've seen the first episode, you'll know what we mean.