Girlfriend
  • News
  • Beauty
  • Fashion
  • Life and Advice
  • Entertainment
  • Role Model Search
  • Dolly Doctor
  • Video
Girlfriend
  • News
  • Beauty
  • Fashion
  • Life and Advice
  • Entertainment
  • Role Model Search
  • Dolly Doctor
  • Video
  1. Home
  2. Girlfriend Role Model Search

The Ultimate Guide To Getting What You Want

'Coz you deserve it. - by Claire Low
  • 18 Dec 2017
The Ultimate Guide To Getting What You Want
Andrew Dong/UnSplash

You know how awesome you are? Wouldn’t it be good if that brilliance, which basically seeps out of your pores on a daily basis, was so evident to everyone that they just gave you what you wanted? But nah, turns out there’s a bit of skill involved in showing the world your worth and getting what you want – whether it’s an internship, a leadership role at school, extra responsibilities at your part-time job, or anything really. Belinda Williams, a registered psychologist at The Positivity Institute, spills on what you gotta do…

Know your worth

If you want others to see it, first you need to see it. This can be hard if you don’t feel confident, and it can be easier to see weaknesses than your strengths. To look for those strengths, Belinda suggests the ‘VIA Character Strengths Test’, which is online and free. “With this as a starting point, you can look at how you use these strengths, and how they manifest in your day-to-day,” she explains. “Self-awareness is the foundation, because then you can talk to these strengths and attributes you have, and have a sense of your self-worth before you convince someone else of that worth.”

Kris Jenner Youre Doing Amazing Sweetie GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Set goals

Turns out people often miss out on what they want, or don’t take advantage of opportunities, coz they don’t know what they’re aiming for. “Goals should be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attractive, Realistic and Timeframed – then you’ll be more likely to be able to measure yourself against them and review your progress,” Belinda says. She also suggests imagining the road to your goal as a wide path (not a tightrope) so you can get a bit wobbly, but stay on track.

Talk yourself up

Great communicators have an advantage when it comes to showing confidence and their self-worth. Not super-great just yet? If you’re trying to demonstrate your worth in writing (such as in a cover letter, or a submission for school), amp up your prep. Do a lot of drafts and get other people to read and check them for you. “Preparation at least gives the portrayal of confidence, even if it’s lacking,” Belinda says. Also, lean on some awesome examples – “they provide the evidence people may be looking for to back up what you’re saying.”

Easy A Thumbs Up GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Have a core message

Belinda says this essentially comes down to saying the same thing over and over. “Distill a core message,” she says. “Drill down, understand what it is, and come back to it as a compass for your message.” For example, if your core message was, ‘You can trust me to do this thing, since I am responsible,’ you could keep playing up that message with different examples and anecdotes about times people relied on you and you came through for them.

Speak with power

The best way to do this, according to Belinda, is to use ‘I’ statements: “I think”; “I feel”; “for me”. “If you make it personal, it becomes more powerful and convincing,” she explains. “And it can be difficult to challenge, since you are talking about you and your perspective.”

Look at the part

Humans are a visual bunch, so Belinda says you can’t overlook presentation as a way to get decision-makers to see you in a positive light. So dressing the part (while also having the right attributes to back it up) most def helps.

Didn't work out? Learn from it

Soz, but success just isn’t guaranteed for anyone. Belinda says you’ve gotta see these setbacks as lessons – “seek feedback where you can, and look at areas that didn’t go as well as you’d like and how you can improve those”.

Positive Kim Kardashian GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY
  • News
  • Life and Advice
Girlfriend Role Model Search
Meet your Girlfriend Role Model Search finalists!

Meet your Girlfriend Role Model Search finalists!

Girlfriend's Role Model Search 2020

Girlfriend's Role Model Search 2020

Cheat's Guide To Accepting Compliments

Cheat's Guide To Accepting Compliments

Girlfriend Role Model Search

Meet your Girlfriend Role Model Search finalists!

Meet your Girlfriend Role Model Search finalists!

Girlfriend's Role Model Search 2020

Girlfriend's Role Model Search 2020

Cheat's Guide To Accepting Compliments

Cheat's Guide To Accepting Compliments

The Ultimate Guide To Getting What You Want

The Ultimate Guide To Getting What You Want

Fresh and floral beauty look

Fresh and floral beauty look

SPONSORED BY TANNED AUSTRALIA

Recommended to you

Sophie Monk drops another epic Love Island trailer
Watch 1:00

Sophie Monk drops another epic Love Island trailer

{headline}

{headline}

3 Ways To Prioritise Yourself, According To Model Jess Purchase

3 Ways To Prioritise Yourself, According To Model Jess Purchase

Why Jaguar Jonze is the Aussie musician and advocate to watch

Why Jaguar Jonze is the Aussie musician and advocate to watch

TikTok Princess AJ Clementine’s Mental Health Tip Has Us Glowing

TikTok Princess AJ Clementine’s Mental Health Tip Has Us Glowing

Buying your first bra doesn’t have to be scary! Here’s how to ace it

Buying your first bra doesn’t have to be scary! Here’s how to ace it

{headline}

{headline}

Dixie D’Amelio shares what it’s like to move out of home

Dixie D’Amelio shares what it’s like to move out of home

Feeling sad about your COVID-19 romance falling apart? Here’s what Miley Cyrus does to cope with breakups

Feeling sad about your COVID-19 romance falling apart? Here’s what Miley Cyrus does to cope with breakups

Sam Harris on how Girlfriend Model Search helped her embrace looking different

Sam Harris on how Girlfriend Model Search helped her embrace looking different

{headline}

{headline}

Girlfriend's Role Model Search 2020

Girlfriend's Role Model Search 2020

How to thrive in a job you don't like

How to thrive in a job you don't like

The Most Common Reason People Stay In Unhappy Relationships

The Most Common Reason People Stay In Unhappy Relationships

Cheat's Guide To Accepting Compliments

Cheat's Guide To Accepting Compliments

Kurt Coleman's cheat guide to killer confidence

Kurt Coleman's cheat guide to killer confidence

Fresh and floral beauty look

Fresh and floral beauty look

Meet our 2017 Model Search winner!

Meet our 2017 Model Search winner!

Girlfriend
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Terms
  • Privacy Policy
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Terms
  • Privacy Policy

Brands

  • New Idea
  • Practical Parenting
  • That’s Life
  • Who

Our Network

  • Better Homes and Gardens
  • BHG Shop
  • marie claire
  • Beauty Crew
  • New Idea food
  • Home Beautiful
  • All Recipes
  • 7plus
  • 7News
  • Sunrise
  • Starts at 60
  • The West Australian
  • Perth Now
  • 7mate
  • 7Sport
  • Hard to Find
© 2022 Are Media PTY LTD
All products are independently selected, tested or recommended by our team of experts.If you buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission.
Get more from Girlfriend

Magazine Subscription Offer

Subscribe to our sister mag and save up to 35% -

Shop This Offer
Subscribe to our sister mag and save up to 35%