Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to ignore the rumours you've heard about going to your school formal.
There are so many myths goin' around about the night, that it's started to sound more exhausting than fun... so, we're here to debunk them, and set the record straight!
Going without a date is social suicide
What kind of ridiculous myth is this? Going to your formal solo is the only way to guarantee you’ll have the best time.
Here are just a few things you’ll never have to deal with: having to go to the formal with someone you’re totally not into; your date showing up in a lime green suit with a top hat and cane; being forced to take an awkward couples pic while your parents, grandparents and neighbours creepily watch; having to slow dance with your date while your friends have fun watching the awkwardness.
See? So much better solo.
You need to spend a lot of money
Unless you have the bank balance of a Kardashian, spending your life savings on one night is just as stupid as investing in the entire series of Khloe & Lamar.
The coolest girls are the ones who can get their entire look for under $100 – anyone who brags about spending thousands on their look is either lying or stupid.
You have to go “all the way” with your date
If by “all the way” you mean go all the way to the formal in a fancy ride, then yes, you do – if you want to get to your formal.
But if what we think you mean by going “all the way” is hooking up with your date on formal night, then this is most definitely NOT true.
If anyone puts the pressure on, give them one of those dramatic rom-com-only slaps and get the hell out of there.
NOTE: We don’t really condone violence, we’ve just watched a few too many rom-coms, clearly.
The spotlight and all eyes will be on you as you gracefully walk in
If you’re imagining your entrance to look something like the scene from Grease – where Sandy turns up in that tight leather outfit and the crowd gasps at her in amazement – then we’re really sorry but this ain’t gonna happen.
Well, not unless you rent a crowd of actors to applaud you as you struggle out of your dad’s beat-up station wagon.
Honestly, you’ll probably be too busy dealing with a wardrobe malfunction/hair disaster/your technologically stumped parents trying to work their cameras to have time for something as extravagant as a grand entrance.
And your school probably doesn’t have the budget for a spotlight anyway.
Formal tips we learnt from the flicks...
- Don't take the town vampire to the dance. While it might seem romantic, it'll probs end badly. Thank you, Twilight.
- No-one wants to be doused in pigs blood a la Carrie on their special day, so be nice to everyone. Always!
- Thanks to Napoleon Dynamite we learnt a lot of things, most importantly: puffy sleeves are never a good idea. Unless your formal has an '80s theme, then puffy sleeves are allowed.