I can pretend that I’ve been forced to watch Netflix because of the cold months we’re in RN, but let’s be real, even when it’s hot outside I’m inside re-watching old TV shows like Gossip Girl.
I’ve seen the show multiple times, but one thing that becomes more and more apparent to me as I get older is that Dan Humphrey is a dick! Like majorly.
My 15-year-old self watching the show for the first time fell for his ~LoNeLy bOy~ ways with his stupid writing and nice cheekbones, but as a more mature (lol) adult, I’ve come to realise that he’s just a massive tosser with big sideburns.
The fact that I also am aware that he is Gossip Girl the entire time re-watching the show doesn’t help, but here are some solid reasons why Daniel Humphrey is the absolute W O R S T:
His virgin ass slut-shamed Serena in episode 2
Yes, after approximately like one date with Serena, he goes all “I thought you were different” on her after finding out that she slept with Nate, way before even knowing who he was.
Dick.
He bones Blair when he used to date Serena
Not to mention that he ruined her marriage with Prince Louis by projecting a tape of her saying she loves Chuck Bass… and then stands in the way of Blair and Chuck getting married.
He made up a rumour that Serena had an STD
Douche.
Being Gossip Girl – he continuously posts horrible shit about his sister Jenny – like losing her virginity to Chuck, who once tried to rape her
Dan, U K hun??
He proceeds to become friends with Chuck, even though HE TRIED TO RAPE HIS SISTER
Throughout the series, these two become closer and closer.
But before that, he pretended to be friends with Chuck just to find out his deepest secret and write a story about it
He finds out that Chuck’s mother died giving birth to him, and uses it to write a story.
He cheated on Vanessa
While she was in Haiti he hooks up with Serena…
He wrote how many expose books about his so-called ‘friends’?
And didn’t even have the imagination to give them better names. Sabrina for Serena? Charlie Trout for Chuck Bass? Get an imagination, bro.
He did it with Georgina
The same girl who drugged Serena. ‘Nuff said.
He ‘loves’ Blair but posts her entire diary on Gossip Girl
Dick.
He fake-dated Serena
So he could continue to write his lame book.
Then released that chapter on Serena claiming her to be a hot mess with daddy issues
Half-true but rude!!
He then married her, even though she’s like, his step-sister
We’re starting to think this whole show is a big old mess TBH. Would watch again and again though!
And we’re not making this up, btw. Penn Badgley himself has even admitted to hating his character on the show. So any Dan lovers out there, suck it.
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