You know the end is nigh; for weeks your bestie has ignored your calls, stopped replying to your texts and even made a point of sitting on the opposite side of the room in class.
Oh, and just to add salt to the wound, she’s practically replaced you with someone else.
Nothing feels worse than getting ditched by your BFF. Except for maybe... nope, it’s definitely the worst.
While the idea of being buried in a tub of Ben and Jerry’s is pretty appealing right now, the good news is these negative feelings won’t last forever.
You will survive the bestie break-up. Here’s how:
Step one: Grieving
According to clinical psychologist Laura Francke, being rejected can cause resentment to rear its ugly head and make the situation even worse.
“Often we can be tempted to cover our hurt and rejection by withdrawing from the person, attacking their character or pretending that we don’t really care. But this rarely leaves us feeling any better, and generally gives us guilt to add to our grief,” she says.
“This feeling, like all other feelings, will pass over time. Acknowledging our hurt and being gentle and kind to ourselves when we feel this way is the fastest and most effective road to recovery.”
This is easier said than done, we know. But remember your bestie isn’t the only person who has ever cared for you.
Find support in other people you love and cherish, and slowly you’ll begin to heal.
Step two: Acceptance
Not only does being ditched by a friend cause a world of hurt, it can also trigger a multitude of insecurities, as we search for the reason behind our bestie’s sudden change of heart.
“It’s important to recognise that every one of us has an, ‘I’m not good enough’ story in our heads that gets [exaggerated] whenever we are hurt,” says Laura.
“Our mind is constantly looking for ways for us to be accepted and loved, so it raises all our flaws in an attempt to make sure we are acceptable to everyone.”
It can be hard to get our head around, but the unfortunate reality is that not every friend will be there for life.
Step three: Forgiveness
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you need to welcome them back into your life with open arms.
“A better understanding of forgiveness is that it’s making a choice to no longer allow ourselves to be caught up in resentment about a relationship,” advises Laura.
“To find this kind of forgiveness, it requires us to be honest with ourselves and acknowledge the depth of our hurt over the situation.”
Yep, your bestie dumped you, and yep, it sucks. But don’t make the mistake of valuing yourself based on the opinion of someone else. You know you’re awesome, and yours is the only opinion that really counts!