You’ve been close friends for a while now and you feel like you’re on bestie level, but does she feel the same? Here, we help you spot the difference between a gal pal and a BFFL.
GOOD FRIENDS VS. BEST FRIENDS
On paper, good friends and best friends share a lot of the same traits like relying on each other to double tap your Insta pics, providing moral support when your fave series is axed and so on. But according to Kim Smith, a teenage expert and founder of Standing Strong (girlsstandingstrong.com, a wellness club for girls), a BFF-worthy friendship requires a certain special, unique bond.
“Friends are people we enjoy hanging out with but they might not know everything about us, or they might not be the people we turn to when we’re in need of help,” says Kim. “Best friends have a deeper level of closeness. They are someone you can trust and feel you can share almost anything with. There is a special bond between best friends.”
IT'S TIME FOR THE BFF CONVO
So how do you figure out if she’s your best friend? By doing what friends do best: talking it out! The bestie conversation is one of the most important conversations you’ll ever have with your friend (even more important than the convo where you established your In Stereo lane). Sure, it can be a nerve-wracking process, but DW, we’ve got some epic advice to help you keep the awks to a minimum.
“Sometimes you have to put yourself out there for great things to happen. Be brave and tell them how you feel,” Kim insists. “Write a little note and tell them what they mean to you. If you’re too shy then tell them straight up, you could say something like ‘you are starting to feel like a best friend to me.’ This way you aren’t putting yourself out there completely. Wait and see what they say back. If they feel the same way, you’ll be calling each other bestie by the end of the day!”
And if they’re not quite on the same level as you then that’s okay! This means that she’s just a great friend of yours (which is still amazing!) and your true BFF could be right around the corner.
WHAT IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BESTIE?
If you’ve gotten this far into the story and are thinking ‘hey, I actually don’t have a bestie, does that make me weird?’ Then the answer is absolutely not! “It’s normal to change friendships, have friendship breakups and makeups, have lots of friends, have no friends, have just friends and have best friends,” Kim explains.
So if you don’t have a bestie just yet, this doesn’t mean that you’ll never have one. It just means that she hasn’t entered your life yet.
“Having lots of friends but no best friend means you have the freedom to move around your friendship groups and not be attached to one person. Enjoy this time and make the most of it. Before you know it you’ll be paired with someone who thinks you’re the best thing since strawberry flavoured Oreos.”
NEW FRIEND REQUEST
While finding a bestie isn’t a process that can be rushed, the more open you are, the more likely you are of finding your ultimate gal pal.
“Start meeting new people. Get out of your comfort zone and find ways to make new friends,” Kim advises. “Try some new activities outside of school, enrol in fitness or cooking class and be open to meeting new people. Focus on just having fun with new personalities and as soon as you stop searching for a best friend, you’ll find one! It sounds weird, but it does work like that.”