If you've taken the day off school because the greatest album of all time, Harry Styles by Harry Styles came out at midnight and you've been up all night (that just happened LOL) - we don't blame you, in fact we salute you.
TBH the only reason we came to work today is because we live to serve Harry Edward Styles and you, our beautiful readers. We consider it our honour and duty and we would not be doing our jobs properly if we didn't analyse every song on this masterpiece of an album and try to figure out who the songs are about. So brew a pot of the strongest tea, settle in and join us on this journey.
MEET ME IN THE HALLWAY
MOOD: Slow and ~haunting~.
BEST LYRICS: "Meet me in the hallway, I just left your bedroom, give me some more".
GF SAYS: Well this makes “No Control” sound almost prudish in comparison. Harry, who gave you the right to do this to us??!
SIGN OF THE TIMES
MOOD: Epic ballad.
FAVE LYRICS: "Welcome to the final show, hope you're wearing your best clothes”.
GF SAYS: Harry already said what this song is about (LOL Haz, you’re so random like that), but it's giving us all the "History" feels. *brief break because sobbing*
MOOD: Solid bop.
FAVE LYRICS: "How would I tell her she's all I think of? Well I guess she just found out".
GF SAYS: The album is super moody and this is one of the few upbeat songs. If that's your vibe, then this will definitely be your fave.
MOOD: Heartbroken AF.
FAVE LYRICS: “”We’re not what we used to be, We’re just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me, Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat”.
GF SAYS: One member of team GF is adamant that this is about the one and only Tay Swift. And nope. The rest of us are not having it.
MOOD: So pure and OMG bless him.
FAVE LYRICS: “I know we started, Two hearts in one home” and “When I run out of rope, You bring me home”.
GF SAYS: This song will make your heart melt faster than a Gaytime on a hot summer’s day. It’s the ultimate love letter.
MOOD: Plot twist!
FAVE LYRICS: “I got splinters in my knuckles crawling ‘cross the floor, Couldn't take you home to mother in a skirt that short, But I think that’s what I like about it”.
GF SAYS: We’ll let the man himself describe this one:
MOOD: 10/10 banger.
FAVE LYRICS: “I’m having your baby, It’s none of your business”.
GF SAYS: Well, well, well what do we have here? Some fans are claiming this is about babygate but this is totally about Georgia Fowler, the smoking hot New Zealand model Hazza had a fling with back in 2015. And it makes sense because it’s called Kiwi, and it’s about a pretty girl, not fruit. In fact, he doesn’t mention the word kiwi at all in the lyrics AND he told Rolling Stone mag that there was a song on the album that ‘tipped the hat’ to a past relationship.
EVER SINCE NEW YORK
MOOD: Lazy Sunday morning vibes.
FAVE LYRICS: “Tell me something I don’t already know”.
GF SAYS: This is the other track some people think *could* be about Taylor. We’ve already covered that, and we’re not feeling it. No disrespect to our girl Tay, but she’s not the only babe who lives in New York.
MOOD: Jealousy has never been so sexy.
FAVE LYRICS: “I hope you can see, The shape I’m in, While he’s touching your skin, He’s right where I should be”.
GF SAYS: Better turn on the air-con and make it an iced tea this time, because holy mother of Harold this song is HOT AF.
FROM THE DINING TABLE
MOOD: CAN’T STOP CRYING.
FAVE LYRICS: “We haven’t spoke since you went away, Comfortable silence is so overrated, Why won’t you ever say what you want to say, Even my phone misses your call, By the way”.
GF SAYS: FOR GOD SAKES HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM. QUIT BEING SO DAMN STUBBORN AND CALL HIM. KLEENEX CAN’T SUPPLY OUR TISSUE DEMAND.
Hot damn that’s lot of tea, Louis. If you’ve got something to say, maybe you should FREAKING SAY IT. But then that’s none of our business.
Meanwhile, we’ve discovered the meaning of life and since being blessed with this album our hair is glossier, our skin has cleared up, the sun is brighter and there are rainbows around every corner.