Ah, haircuts. You’re just a wash, snip and blowdry from the ~best hair of your life~ and this haircut, this very one, will be THE one that bestows locks so dazzling that you will shortly be fighting off Hemsworths left, right and centre. Probably. But then it goes like this…
1. Soon I will be the babeliest of all babes. GIGI HADID I AM COMING FOR YOU.
2. Do you think they wash these itchy plastic capes very often? Ever? How about the scissors? Hmmm.
3. I asked to look like a Victoria's Secret Angel, WHY am I currently looking like Jared Leto if he were washed in a top-loader?
4. Wait, what? Yo, hairdresser, I said two inches. *Shakes fist at sky* Two. Inches.
5. OK, now she’s holding up the mirror and smiling and I’m going to have to pretend it’s amazing while crying on the inside.
6. It’s SO short. *runs hands through*Ah! Short and thwarted.
7. But maybe it’s healthier? Because the split ends are gone?
8. Home now. DOES ANYBODY HAVE A PAPER BAG?